having legitimate crushes on fictional characters
actually blushing when you see pictures of them
so I went looking for Booster toys on amazon to put in my wishlist in case there were any with a sane pricetag I didn’t have
I found a Hello Kitty backpack instead
The money shot : “We have also heard repeatedly that there is a new Booster Gold series on the way… could this be a possible moment to take the bull by the horns? I understand creators have been asked to pitch a grimmer and grittier version of the character.”
Grim and gritty Booster Gold. Grim and gritty Booster Gold.
Fuck you, DC Comics.
GRIM AND GRITTY BOOSTER GOLD
NO THANK YOU
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP IT DC
OH MYG OD
THIS IS THE WORST THING
NO I GET IT I GET THE JOKE
The opening scene of the first issue, we see grimdark Booster being all grimdark. He’s fighting the Royal Flush Gang, grimdarkly.
Then the sky cracks open, and a ship flies out. A man in blue swings down from the bottom of the ship and punches Booster. Booster flies backwards and hits a wall. His Nu52 suit slithers off him, revealing itself to be alive, and a more pleasing costume underneath. The man in blue shoots it with his hairdryer, then offers Booster a hand up.
"I was going to say something along the lines of, ‘Get yourself off him, you damn dirty symbiote’, but then I figured that was too cheesy."
"Thanks, Ted. Wanna help me wipe the floor with these guys?"
"Don’t mind if I do, Booster buddy."
The rest of the issue is them having fun and beating up bad guys and making puns. The final page reads:
GUNS AND HEROES AND COWBOYS
justice riders aw yeah
Blue Beetle from Justice Riders! I love you, Ted.
cut my life into pieces
Imagine Ted and Booster getting married.
Booster changes his name to Michael Kord.
Ted changes his name to Ted Gold.
so i accidentally started thinking about boostle in the car and my brain ran away with me and it almost caused me to miss my exit i just got home i havent even taken my pants off yet but i needed to type this out okay
i was thinking about how if ted came back it would probably be in the midst of a crisis because whats dc without a crisis that either kills superheroes, brings them back from the dead, or both.
so i imagine it would have to be some kind of weird timeline wackiness a la superboy prime but there’s some crisis and booster ends up saving ted from whatever timeline mishmash nightmare he’s stuck in that is also probably affecting a bunch of other superheroes and putting the world at jeopardy
so while superman and batman and wonder woman are doing their thing being the only superheroes dc cares about so they get charged with wrapping up the final “save the day” moment, ted and booster are on a rooftop where they landed after being spat out of wibbly wobbly time
and booster is hugging ted so tight ted actually has to tell booster “i can’t breathe” and booster lets up on the hug only slightly and theyre both panting and sweaty and tired and sore from superheroing and booster has his eyes shut tight trying to hold back tears as he feels ted pat him on the back soothingly when he suddenly pulls back
"ted there’s something— i mean god i never thought i’d—" and he pulls his cowl off and wipes a hand over his face
"i mean you— you’re—I…" he runs a hand through his hair making it stick up weird with sweat and ted looks like he’s trying really hard not to smile and booster just thinks "fuck it" because they are so close and both still breathing a little heavy and his nerves are humming and he leans down slightly and just kisses ted
it’s quick and desperate press of his mouth to ted’s before he feels ted jerk away suddenly and booster panics. this is not how he imagined this happening not that he spent his time at night sometimes going over all the times he could have told ted how much he meant to him and rehearsing what he would have said and imagining ted’s reaction or anything. and if he did do those things this was never part of any of said hypothetical scenarios.
he can’t figure out the emotion on ted’s face so he backtracks still in slight shock ted is standing in front of him and real and breathing and he tries to make words happen if there’s anything booster gold is good at its smooth talking a bad situation
"shit! sorry was that— I uh we um just helped save the world and you know" he runs his hand through his hair again "adrenaline! yeah don’t freak out i didn’t mean—"
and booster is so caught up in apologizing he doesnt realize ted has stepped a little closer to him and when he feels a hand at the nape of his neck he’s confused and still talking and wait when did ted get that close
and ted tugs booster’s head down a little and kisses him. a real kiss this time because both parties are participating but it only lasts a few seconds before ted pulls away laughing slightly
"dude you really should warn someone before you just go and kiss them" he pulls off his cowl and his hair is just as messy and sticking up as booster’s
"i mean i have very delicate sensibilities" and ted smiles and gestures towards himself in a haughty fashion "how presumptuous of you, sir. you have no manners."
and booster is still not 100% sure what is happening and he narrows his eyes and raises an eyebrow
"wait so you’re okay with" and he gestures between the two of them "with this?"
and ted just shakes his head and smiles and claps a hand on booster’s shoulder “boost. you are my best friend. youre the best friend i’ve ever had.”
and booster looks concerned for a moment and says “friend…” and ted just steps closer and says “i mean i’m very okay with this. more than okay.”
and booster looks at ted’s mouth and leans down to kiss him again but before doing so he has to say it and make it official “i love you” and without missing a beat ted replies “i know”
and now booster is laughing “did you just—” and ted goes BWAHAHA and booster goes “i may have made a huge mistake” and then they kiss again
and then they live happily ever after
emphasis on the “live” part
"this is not how he imagined this happening not that he spent his time at night sometimes going over all the times he could have told ted how much he meant to him and rehearsing what he would have said and imagining ted’s reaction or anything. and if he did do those things this was never part of any of said hypothetical scenarios."
Countdown to Infinite Crisis
You’re still hot as hell, Ted. Remember that.
nothing makes me sadder than superheroes realizing that being a superhero is awful.
THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING OKAY ABOUT THIS
I just realized that the teleporter kind of made him look ghostly in that one panel.
That is the worst foreshadowing fucking ever wow.
Boys, boys, your both pretty~
wow okay this happened
bartyallen answered: tora teaching guy how to skate and guy being terrible at it
OH WOW EXCUSE YOU